I have suddenly become mad on knitting again, and this whole winter has been dedicated to creating...

My baby, well one of them the 4th one.... I love my wee SFV650... lots to learn... !

stuff oh and xmas

As she walked in the room...

my heart pounds, I remember 2

cute as a puppy, my wee Dani

Ok one more week

and I am full

two more weeks

and full again

Off to the school disco... fun fun fun!!! I wish all the days were like this one, rushing around dressing up, not a care in the world. I am so over the misery of not being able to, or can't... different ideals, and notions.. all problems can be solved somehow... kind of life. No new bike for me this year... blessed are those that are ... and blessed are those that be... love is never lost if you know how to attain it... love them.. love her.. love him!

Speedshow 2010... my wee Gladius to be!

Today

A day

7 - 7 - 2010

my baby turned 9 today

a beautiful girl

full of love fun and laughter

she spent it

without me

but thats ok

I know we are never apart

heart and soul

I love you monkey

forever!

Brilliant Day out with a great gal!!!!!

Layer upon layer
The world that revolves
so slowly
we barely stop and see
look beyond the clouds
under the fog
there is love
laughter, children
loss, and crying
mystery & violence
but still its our world
under the clouds

RIP DOBSY

Paul Dobbs, 100% a top guy... your life was taken doing what you love best, on one of the most ruthless tracks in the world... you should be with your family, no resting for the best. Brent take care of this guy... your both gone to early!

Warbird, flying over the classic bike races Feb 2010... great day out, even went on the bikes, and parked right bang in the middle of 100's of other bikes, the only L plate in site, very funny!

Bit of a depression going on, can't flick the fact that my self esteem has been squashed into the ground, no going to Uni me thinks, or do I have a point to prove, I know I am stronger than letting others push me into the ground.

I am ... and I will be.

I shall ... and will continue.

Flattery will get one everywhere, negativity will not.

I love life, people, my girls, but why do some people have to be so god damn depressing and not plonk a smile on their faces, and say it is not all that bad.

I am!

Our Xmas day :)

Ever heard a silent scream that is enya when she got her guitar... ever heard a child say thankyou so graciously and grateful even tho they were second hand, thats Danica.. my kids are so fantastic it even blows me away... lovely day with family minus 2... but we will rectify that soon enough. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL.

Wanganui Race Day

Absolutely worth the trip south, 5 hrs there abouts driving on xmas day. Then on our feet listening watching breathing drooling amazed smelling all day. My fav's was the sidecars, but really impressed with everyone, superbikes awesome, totally amazed at the handling at high speeds, met some really nice people, made some new friends, slept in a wonderfully flash motel. Then partied till 11.30pm, Richy then drove home to Auckland. 6am to bed for 5 hours... ah sigh. Now its raining !

Christmas Eve

Its christmas eve and all around the house, nothing doth stir, not even a mouse, the children are all gone, the men are asleep... the lights glare out at the sunrise almost to peak. My babies I miss .. I am incomplete... the sadness overwhelmes that I cannot to them even speak.

Enya & Danica my everlasting dream ... I miss you!

And here is the second rally against ACC hikes for bikers.... barhumbug!

Have been sooo busy.... and xmas is around the corner... barhumbug... lol...

No seriously... been to court... got into Waikato Uni, got offered a full time job (what recession).... and loving my girls to bits... loving my bike, want an upgrade too after 3 months... doh.. lotto mmmm never happens.

XV250

My new bike.... learners licence, and 800km riding so far... I am loving the riding, but not the wind.. rain is fine... :)

October 17th

My baby is 12 today, and she is with her Dad I wish she was here, but that is just part an parcel of being separated, she is in a good place.

Mini Golf

Fun day out with my two little wee angels!!!!!

wow

Where has the weeks gone.. .dad is still in hospital...and thanks to a fantastic team at ICU Middlemore he is alive...yet still in hospital... and being dad!

Uni well um erm... its still happening... 6 days to complete a case study ... don't thinks its going to happen.. due to lack of time... spent 4 hrs totally loving my dad.. really enjoyed some quality time with him.

Having a blast on kiwi biker... kids are really being cool... love em to bits.. both stunning... teacher said they need to model... ho hum... maybe.. maybe not.

Thinking about studying Speech Therepy 4 years full time.. might be 45 before that happens.. kids important... first.

Totally trying to survive .. even tho I have a job... crazy world

miss anja, michaela, mel, maria, ... the girls.. xx mwah

the week from hell

Dad was admitted to middlemore intensive care, University starts, ...and the kids are playing up cause they can, I am too exhausted to deal with everything... I do have this thing in my brain that drives me... what it is I don't know.. .but I keep going... and one day the smiles will come.

I wish some people would let things be, and leave me in peace, I wish some people loads of hugs... I miss my dad, 8 days in hospital 7 unconscious, such a long wait, and then huge recovery.... I want him back yesterday.

Written by Enya aged 7

I went to the beach one holiday

I forgot my swimtogs

and start to play

Swish swish went the waves

Woosh woosh went the days

When we got home

We jumped in the pool

When we got out we felt really cool

When we go there next year

We will have to remember

To bring our swim gear.

:)

Washed up on the ocean beach

Cutting deep the fingers seek

Mindless creeps into mind

Just a curious dream
Just a curious dream

Pennies drop from the skies

Motionless winds blow them by

shut your windows shut your doors

As it is just a curious dream
As it is just a curious dream

The nettled blankets of the fields

Sting our inner souls

Open your eyes, Open to dream

Sinking Curious Dreams
Sinking curious dreams

Sand stops in time I can't make it mine

Sweeping through my fingertips

lifes time, passes by

Fighting Back curious dreams
Fighting Back curious dreams

I was asked for something,... and this is what I had.

There is love
There is fire
Then there is desire

I held the hand of the dove
To become at peace with myself
No mixing of needs
I just needed to believe

Back finding a place
make no mistakes
moving forward without
thats the fire that creates desire

don't correct the past
make the future less forbidden
thats how life should be driven
be at one with yourself

then there is love
a fire
lit with desire

wow

Xmas as been and gone, we are into 2009, I have done nothing in the scrappin department, a few xmas things but that is it... knitting loads, and spending too much valuable time online.. but all good fun...

Enya modelled beautifully for this photo...left age 7... me 13...and Danica 10 then.

Hope everyone had a fantastic xmas & new years... xxx

twas a day

Just another day
Turning another year over
thinking oh well life is
made for fun, love & happiness

I am in my element
being 40 is such a great
feeling... never let
anyone remove that.

School Disco

MINI EMO... aaw she wanted to follow in her sisters footsteps... don't she look great..mwah



EMO GIRL.... So much fun deciding not to wear red or a hat for a change.. hair dye & tattoooss were the go this year.. arg imagine the teenage years :)... all under control.. I think ...

7th day of the 7th Month of 2008

THE LOVE OF KIDS... ENYA 7TH BIRTHDAY BASH AT HOME...went to the beach for a blast... played loads of cool games...ate disgusting food...and opened cool presents...now that what a birthday is all about.. x :)

mmmm

Months seem to float into years
and years just seem to whiz by.

Has been a busy month of June
And now July 1 week in seems to go

Classes happening... scrappin too
Made a card for ENYA.. 7 tomorrow..

Hope all are well...and hope to catch up soon

xx

A day in the life of..........

ME...

This was just so funny, listening to Kelly talk about her morning... apart from one thing... sharing.

7am Wake up, yawn stretch, make sure it 7am and not 5am... wiggle.. so the girls move and become unsettled, crawl out.

7.10am The usual stuff
7.20am Tea & Breakfast, make beds, open curtains, gooo brrrr its too cold
7.30am Lunches made & kids eating in front of Aladin (the only cartoon they are aloud to watch)
7.45am Oi you two... eat up... or u will belate
7.46am Check emails, gulp tea & breaky
8.00am Jump in bath (shower is fussy)
8.10am Yell out is everyone dressed for school
8.20am mmm no... get one sorted
8.30am Late again... you can ride, but u have to leave now.
8.40am Calmly walk into school, smile at everyone and leave without saying more than good morning...
9.00am Go to work... or not...depends if fridge still open at home, house locked, or even looking like livable to arrive home too.

And thats the morning... whew.. no wonder shattered and ready for coffee at

9.30am...

mmm MMM mmm

mind blowing connectionss, thoughts and thinkin this weekend.. love ya cas..ilka...lee ..kim ...jackie & andrea u rock.. jennifer chill, you have awesoem work, and are a awesom mum I am sure...sam cool thoughts and very cool lady... megan... in fact you are a quiet though awe insired u r an awesome scrapper.

My mind was not in the weekend... making toast for everyone was the most exciting moment... cause I met all the toast eaters...

Kelly u rock

Yo You Rock Loads

& oooh Lianne lol U really rock

Scrap Camp Rotorua

Another Weekend looming away out of town.

I am actually looking forward to it.

Yet I am so not organized, loads of photos all over the show.

Would love to do a project for Julia who is going back to germany in 5 weeks ;(

Yet all photos not printed, so will have to master up something amusing for her of our girls so she remembers us.

Has been a strange week, a bit messy in my head. But its all coming together... I can do this single thing.. its a breeze.

Wow 3 road rides this week, pats herself on the back... I love my new bike, it really puts me out there on the roads, breathing, feeling, free, can't wait till it as a motor haha.

You know what is another good feeling, I don't care about my housework, I walk out the door and say.. " I will do it later ", and I am mowing the lawns.. whew but good exercise..

ya all have to hold me to this, so no encouraging me to eat crap at camp... I am going to be a size 10, ride a motorbike, and have a tattoo by christmas... oh and be 40.. :) and single .... IF I FAIL IN ONE FORGIVE ME, HOPING THE FIRST COME OFF. HEHE

See ya all at camp.... whomever you are.!!!!

MY LIFE IS SUCH A REPITITION

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.